It's safe in the alternative reality..

May 05

[video]

Mar 20

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

Mar 11

gif meme second version

The 1st gif in your folder is how you feel right now:

I feel lika gif that doesn’t work, cause tumblr is an ass

The 7th gif in your folder is how you felt this morning:

The 30th gif in your folder is how you will feel ten minutes from now:

The 25th gif in your folder is how you will feel 10 days from now:

happy?

The 12th gif in your folder is how you will live 10 years from now:

Chasing after Michael Palin, doesn’t sound bad :P (only he’ll be close to 80 ten years from now :\)

The 3rd gif in your folder is how the same sex sees you:

.. Like I’m actually a guy?

The 20th gif in your folder is how the opposite sex sees you:

x’D okay..

The 2nd gif in your folder is what you will dream about tonight:

O_< ok…

The 10th gif in your folder is how your children will act:

x’) okay..

The 15th gif in your folder is what your parents thought when you were born:

:P ok..

The 13th gif in your folder is how you will act at your wedding:

Sounds more like how my potential spouse would act, because I get quite uncomfortable when people try to get intimate with me..

The last gif in your folder is how people will feel at your funeral:

x’D wut

gif meme

The 1st gif in your folder is how you feel right now:

:P that’s how I probably should feel..

The 7th gif in your folder is how you felt this morning:

No.. I didn’t feel quite so awake

The 30th gif in your folder is how you will feel ten minutes from now:

x) okayy.. (tumblr apparently hates this gif)

The 25th gif in your folder is how you will feel 10 days from now:

o_O help?

The 12th gif in your folder is how you will live 10 years from now:

XD epic

The 3rd gif in your folder is how the same sex sees you:

(Okay, tumblr you suck.)

x’D Omfg. I’m actually asexual, but I do have a dirty mind…

The 20th gif in your folder is how the opposite sex sees you:

(I sure hope tumblr will stop fucking around later and actually let my gifs work)

xD omg what’s up with the legolas gifs? it’s not like I have a lot of them..

The 2nd gif in your folder is what you will dream about tonight:

O_o?

The 10th gif in your folder is how your children will act:

D:! Please god no! *twitches* Not like bill o’reilly and donald trump, anything but that.

The 15th gif in your folder is what your parents thought when you were born:

:’D lol

The 13th gif in your folder is how you will act at your wedding:

Jump jump jump!

The last gif in your folder is how people will feel at your funeral:

Feb 25

Convo between my 7year-old students today

Josie: I have a new crusshhhhh
Matt: Me too! On a boy!
Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
Matt: Yeah he's really cute.
Pearl: Oh.
(pause for a bit)
Matt: Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
Me: Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
Matt: Really?
Josie: YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
Dave: (from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
(Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage.)

Reblog if you’re over 10 and you still have stuffed animals on your bed or in your room.

justamadfanwithablog:

the-banana-paradox:

marvelous-gallifrey:

rose-9-10:

I’m 14

19 and I have about seven on my bed at home and two at college

I’m 18 and yep, still have stuffed animals

Got a stuffed Dalek and Triceratops!

22 I have loads C:

(Source: igotoseekagreaterperhapss, via youaresogayskarth)

askmother-summer-nature:

staticpoison:

I THOUGHT THAT ENTIRE THING WAS THE KID’S ARM OH MY GOD

Look who grew up

x’D

(Source: escroto, via youaresogayskarth)

Feb 19

[video]

Feb 18

[video]

George: Tell those pigs to fuck off
Archie: Fuck off, pigs.